Pentecost 14, 2020

 Communication can make or break a church, a spiritual community, yet it is one of the things we really struggle with sometimes.  As I first started serving here at Spirit of Life, I was looking for they ways people communicate both formally, like in reports, and informally, in the parking lot.  None of those is necessarily good or bad, just important for me to know about so that I could get information myself, and figure out where communication was not getting through that needed to.

We need communication with God—scripture reading, prayer, reflection time, time in nature, time to listen.  And we need communication with each other—honest communication.  This can be hard, because Christians often feel they need to be nice.  Christians should be welcoming, approachable, but I don’t think that’s the same as nice.  Nice can sometimes be dishonest and most people see right through that.  They see that your body language doesn’t match your happy tone or your pasted on smile.  People can sense tension.  They can tell if you’re uncomfortable. They sense something that we’re communicating without meaning to and when we hide it, others might take it personally and wonder if its about them or might think it is a bigger deal than it is.  If it’s something small, why not say it and get it out there? 

The church is the body of Christ.  We need direction from the head who Jesus Christ about what way we’re going and what to pay attention to.  That’s why we pray so much and read the scriptures every Sunday.  We need to listen to what God is telling us.  And we need honest communication about what is going on with the body.  Where does it hurt?  We need some attention in those areas.  What have we been neglecting?  Who is missing that we haven’t heard from in a while?  Who will check in with that member of the body?  That’s why we gather together in the body of Christ—to listen to each other, even though now we gather virtually to protect the body from illness.

The reading from the Hebrew Bible is about correcting evildoers.  I am sure this scripture was misused during the crusades and even now when I see a sign that says, “In Heaven there are no lukewarm Christians” like the one near my house or the ones that say, “Repent and turn from your evil ways,” it feels disrespectful and abusive.  I wonder do those signs ever really bring anyone to Christianity or do they just make the person who placed it feel better.  In other words, they feel selfish to me rather than loving.  However a sign is not a conversation between siblings, which is what Jesus is advocating. 

I don’t imagine it took very long of going to the wicked and calling it out, to see that it didn’t do much good.  But honest communication is still important to the body of those who believe in God.  So Jesus gives us some better ways.  Go to the person first alone—if it is safe to do so and you are equal in power.  When this says member it really says brother.  This is about how to behave in a family when you are forever linked in one body.  You go to your equal alone so they don’t feel cornered and outnumbered, ganged up on.  It is a good time to clarify the disagreement.  When I do couples counseling, one of the first steps in resolving couple conflict is to define the problem.  Sometimes we spend most of our time on that step.  Two people can see the same situation so differently!  A lot of times if you can clear up what the problem is and people can see what the other person is going through, the situation is resolved and both people are motivated to work on it. 

Jesus says that if that doesn’t work, bring someone with you the next time, a witness who may see something you don’t.  If that doesn’t work, bring it to the church—the gathering of believers.  They may know something or see something or have a perspective neither of you has.  Finally, if none of that works, let that person be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector, in other words, let that person be a person of care and concern for you. They are fully a member of the body of Christ.  This is really a about the golden rule, treating others the way you want to be treated.

Paul, too, is writing about what is loving, what is healing.  Keeping the commandments is loving relationship with God and our neighbor.  Living honorably is being honest with our brother or sister in a way that maintains the relationship between us. 

We are in an unusual time, when it isn’t so easy to go one on one and have a simple conversation.  We can easily misinterpret one another’s body language on Zoom.  We don’t just run into each other at church and have these conversations.  We have to sit down and intentionally write a letter or pick up the phone and have an awkward phone conversation with someone we believe has sinned against us, or who has hurt us in some way.  Or if we have been hurt, we shouldn’t be afraid to say so.  We have to work to maintain or relationships and not let them fade away.  It is crucial to the body of Christ for our health and well-being.  I make 5-10 phone calls a week, but I don’t solely make up the church.  I challenge you, if you don’t already, to make 3-5 phone calls a week.  And each week choose someone you don’t usually call, who might not be getting any calls.  Check in for the sake of the body of Christ. 

When it comes to what we should and can do, we always fall short.  That’s why next week we will get the text about how many times we have to forgive our brother or sister.  Too many times we think we are the ones in this reading who are doing right and we see the other as the sinner.  I’m afraid it ain’t so.  We should be ready for when a brother or sister who is hurting comes to us presenting our sin to us.  If someone comes to us with some correction, we might stop and reflect about what of it might be true and something we could learn from, rather than dismiss it outright or get mad.  Be prepared and open that someone might come to you with a disagreement and point out your sin.  Be ready to put aside defensiveness for the body of Christ.  Be ready when they bring a witness with them or when they call it out in a bigger group.  This is happening today in the marches for racial justice.  Our brothers and sisters are calling out to us that they are experiencing the sin of racism.  We may not have knowingly participated, however we gain by hearing them out because it builds up the whole body to give attention to the parts that are hurting and evaluate how the systems we all support may benefit the powerful and wealthy and oppress people who are already hurting the most. 

Even though we are sinners, there is still good news—very good news, even!  We are the ones in this text that have fallen short and God is the one correcting us, not to shame us, not to hurt our feelings, but to give us life and help us find another way.  God sent Jesus to us, so that face to face he could relate to us and when we walk away call us back and relate to us again, and give us another chance, and forgive us when we deny and betray him, and ask us to turn back and repent again and again.  We are the ones who go astray and we give thanks to God that God continually calls to us, by name, gently shows us another way, shepherds us, heals our wounds, loves us, and expects better of us.  And God knits us into the body of Christ, in unity with other sinners, just as lost as we are, and makes us family so that we can help each other, practice this good and bad communication with each other, and come back again and again to try to understand.

Our country feels so divided right now.  Family members and friends are divided.  People ghost each other on a regular basis—sometimes they just up and disappear on each other without any explanation.  However, we need each other and we are one.  This split is unhelpful and untrue.  With Christ at our center, forgiving us and calling us to new life, relationship, hope, and justice we find ourselves united and forgiven at Jesus’ feet.