Easter 6, 2024

             What a friend we have in Jesus. I have been reflecting this week on friendship.  Jesus calls his disciples his friends in today’s Gospel.  He calls us his friends.  He invites us into friendship with one another.  In Spanish, the word for friend is Amiga, or Amigo—beloved.  This means a lot to me because my name, Aimee is from that same root.  My parents chose my name partly because of the meaning.  When Jesus is talking about friendship, he is talking about love.

What does it mean to be a friend?  It all depends, doesn’t it?  It is delightful to watch little people make friends.  They often jump right in and make friends easily.  They are in the moment, unconcerned about what they might have in common or what the future might bring.  Then in middle school, kids are learning how to be choosy about friends.  Do they want friends with all the right clothes and technology?  Do they want friends who treat them well?  In adulthood, sadly we probably make it harder than it needs to be.  Does this person vote like I do, parent like I do, fit in the same socioeconomic group I do?  Do I have time to invest in this relationship?  Am I willing to take the risk to open up to this person?  Am I willing to risk being rejected? 

About 10 years ago, I realized I had only a handful of friends and decided to try to make more friends.  It’s hard for pastors to make friends.  We can’t be friends with our congregants.  Our weekends are pretty busy. 

One day I saw my neighbor out in front of her house with her one year old.  We were coming back from grocery shopping.  She seemed about my age and a mother—2 things in common.  I marched right over and introduced myself.  She looked a little bewildered.  I’m talking about my friend Kathie.  She’s been going to church here and playing the bells and her daughter is Rebeckah.  We found out we’re born 6 weeks apart, so we have all the same reference points, movies and books.  For a while we were just neighbors—go to the pumpkin patch, say hello now and then, maybe grab lunch.  But I can pinpoint the time when we became friends, amigas.  It was just 7 years ago this week because it was when Kathie’s mom was dying and my niece and grandma were dying.  We were both hurting and we needed each other.  So we had tea and shared memories and grieved together and that was when we really bonded.

I know many of you have found that kind of friendship with people at Trinity, bonding in times of pain and loss and grief, friendships built from tender listening and a gentle presence.  Jesus and his disciples had been through some tough times together.  They had been his students, his learners, but something is changing and they are growing closer.

Jesus had been shown a new depth of love and friendship from his beloved friend Mary.  She had washed his feet and dried them with her hair.  She had wept at his feet.  She had poured out her heart to him.

As Jesus as nearing the cross, he wants his disciples to have this friendship, this depth of care, and so he washes their feet and instructs them to wash one another’s feet and love one another, be friends with one another.  He knows they are going to need that friendship, that love more than ever, because he would be soon arrested, and they would be in danger.  It seems they took Jesus’ commandment to heart.  Things got tough and they denied and abandoned him, but they stuck together.  Jesus found them several days later locked in the upper room together.  That means they didn’t take the opportunity of that stressful time to blame each other and point fingers, but they were friends to each other, supporting each other, helping each other, loving each other.  That friendship helped them all transition from students and learners, to carrying the message of Jesus to the ends of the earth.  That friendship helped them transition from fear, locked in the upper room, to venturing out, to joy, to hope, to ministry, to new life.

Jesus calls us as disciples, his friends, his beloveds.  So what makes a good friend?  Friendship takes investment and commitment.  Friendship takes reciprocity.  Friendship takes trust and dependability.  Friendship takes listening and sharing.  It means being supportive and empathetic.  Being close friends can mean sharing the same values.  Being friends also means having fun together, laughing and sharing humor. 

Jesus’ disciples are beginning to claim Jesus’ mission as their own.  They are seeing the world the same way he does.  They are hopeful of the same things—that all creation will thrive, that people will take care of each other, that all tears will be wiped away and no one will go hungry.  They were helping Jesus before, but now they are invested in this vision and values.  They’ve had a glimpse of it when they saw crowds fed and people healed.  Now they want more and they see how they fit, that they are powerful to carry on that mission.  I wonder how much of Jesus’ vision we claim and invest in? 

Thankfully we have grace—another thing essential in friendship.  We know we can’t always be at our best.  We know everyone has hard days.  We forgive.  We are compassionate and understanding.

Friendship takes investment and commitment.  We practice our friendship by communication with God in prayer.  We invest in our faith community.  We invest in our life of faith by befriending people and loving people, our neighbors, our world. 

Friendship takes reciprocity.  All good things come from God, such an abundance of incredible riches.  Jesus invites us to be generous to others as he has been to us—to let those blessings flow in friendship and reciprocity.

Finally friendship means fun.  We don’t need to grovel and feel bad.  We celebrate God’s love and friendship.  We come here to be inspired, to communicate and be connected with others with similar priorities and vision, and go out refreshed and renewed.  Jesus said, “I have said these things to you, so that your joy may be complete.”  Joy is important to Jesus and it is important to us.

Jesus has been such a friend to us, that he has laid down his life so that we could fully live.  The best way we can be a friend to Jesus is to be a friend to people like him who have been imprisoned, rejected, thirsty, hungry, or naked. 

We are learning how to be friends with Jesus as we learn to be friends with the people of Santa Cruz.  How can we learn about each other?  How can we give each other grace and still tell the truth of what we need from each other?  How can we be vulnerable with each other?  How can we share a vision together that Jesus gives us and work together on it?  This might be a good place to begin.  And finally, how can we celebrate together, because God is doing something unexpected and beautiful, and we are disciples, we are learners, taking those first steps from fear to hope and joy.  We are starting to hope for what Jesus has promised and to find the determination to take the risk to carry it out. “You have commanded me to love my neighbor as myself, and to love the stranger as myself. May I not respond by saying "How odd and difficult this demand is," but let me say, "How privileged I am, and how honored, to be thought worthy of such a command." –Rabbi Chaim Stern, master liturgist and editor of books of prayer.