Good old, Doubting Thomas! How did he get that name anyway? He does so much more than doubt.
First
let us establish that Thomas is left out. Left Out Thomas is what I
will call him. He is the only one not there when Jesus makes his
peaceful appearance. The Disciples were locked in their room for
fear of the religious authorities who might like to crucify one of them
next. But Thomas is not there. Where is
he? Some say he was out getting groceries. Some say he
believed what the women told him, that Jesus is risen and was out looking for
him. In that case, he wanted to see Jesus’ hands and side because he
wanted to make sure it was really him.
The
fact that Thomas was not locked up in fear in the room with the other Disciples
makes him Brave Thomas. He said before they went to raise Lazarus,
“Let us also go to Jerusalem that we might die with him.” He’s out
there. He’s taking a risk out there. He isn’t afraid, or
if he is, he isn’t letting his fear stop him.
The
next name I have given to Thomas is Honest Thomas. Doubting Thomas
is a judgment meant to shame Thomas and all who doubt. Yet we all
doubt. We are all Doubting Thomases. However much faith
we have, still we wonder, if we are honest. We might as well be
honest about it and ask questions and look for the risen Christ and seek to
touch him and wrap our brains around how he could be resurrected and why he’d
want to do that for us. Faith and doubt are not
opposites. Faith and certainty are opposites. Faith and
doubt are two sides of a coin. They go together.
Thomas
is also Curious Thomas. He asks questions. He wants to
see and touch. Sometimes the church has failed people with
inquisitive minds. We have asked people to just accept what we tell
them. However, that is asking people to become mindless sheep.
God can take our questions. God likes our
questions. We ought to use the minds gave us to inquire and try to
understand and to verify for ourselves, because we can’t always trust those in
human authority. God gives us a brain
for a reason, so let’s use it.
Thomas
is also Believing Thomas. He spends at least as much time in the
Gospels believing as he does doubting. This is a story of a person’s
unfolding belief.
And
finally he becomes Proclaiming Thomas. He proclaims, “My Lord and my
God!” He gets it and he shouts it, the only one who does in the book
of John.
I
don’t know why people focus so much on negative characteristics, but we often
do. Probably to protect ourselves. However, it is not
so with God. God sees the whole picture. God sees us at
our worst and our best and is leading us toward wholeness. That is
part of what the word peace means. In Hebrew Jesus would be saying,
“Shalom.” Shalom means wholeness. Three times, Jesus
greets the frightened Disciples with the greeting of peace and wholeness, and
it is God’s intention for us too, God’s promise. Shalom is something
we build between us, but it is also a gift of God.
The way God sees us, we are not defined by our mistakes, our
sins, or our doubt, our brokenness. We are defined by our friendship
with God, our adoption into God’s family, and the fact that God made us very
good. My grandma used to have a plate up on her wall with a little
boy on it and it said, “God don’t make no junk!” That’s
right. We have value in God’s eyes. We have relationship
with God. Nothing can get in the way of that. Nothing can
separate us from the love of God.
Of course the Gospel writer John was writing to his audience who
were becoming anxious for Jesus’ return. Some of them had seen Jesus
and believed, and others had missed out on it. He was saying that
those who hadn’t been there were also blessed and showed an amazing
faith. Of course now we’re all in the same boat. None of
us were there to see Jesus walk the earth or to touch his hands and side. However
we do see him and touch him. We see him whenever we see someone in
need, someone wounded, someone hurting. We see him when we see
anyone who is marginalized, an immigrant, someone whose car is broken down by
the side of the road, those who gather cans and bottles as their income, in
veterans with PTSD and in foster children. And we do touch
him. We touch him when we hold the hand of a homebound person, when
we embrace a convict, when we tend someone’s wounds. And we touch
him when we take him into our own bodies in Holy Communion. We eat
his wounded flesh for the healing of our world, for the strengthening of our
belief. We drink his blood poured out for us, touch his life and his
power, so that we can pass that on to people who live in fear and isolation.
May we find in Doubting, Left Out, Brave, Honest, Curious,
Believing, Proclaiming Thomas a role model. May we embrace our
doubts and voice them rather than pretend that we know. May we be
Left Out of the “faith” everyone else pretends to have in order to come to a
faith that is our own. May we be brave, willing to exit the room
where others lock themselves in fear. May we have courage to look
for the risen Christ. May we be honest and straightforward with God,
knowing we have nothing to be ashamed of or to hide. May we allow
ourselves to have an honest relationship with God. May we be curious
and questioning and think for ourselves, rather than be led astray by believing
everything our religious leaders tell us. May we find in our doubts
an element of belief, a kind of “yes,” an affirmation of ultimate truth that
brings us abundant life that we, then, share. May we find our lives
proclaiming the resurrection, naming God, naming what has power and who gives
life. May we find resurrection all around us, among the Easter
doubts, fears, hopes, and joys.
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