I did my research. Listed every ELCA church in Tacoma, average weekly attendance, address, service time, whether they were Reconciling in Christ, and gender of the pastor. I picked one that had a band, since that interested Sterling.
No one talked to us. I got eye contact when the usher gave us the bulletin and "God's peace" during the sharing of the peace. Otherwise nothing. A woman and a child visiting, dressed fine, alert and participating.
We went to coffee hour. I sat down and turned to another woman at the table and asked a question about something in the bulletin. She was a visitor, too. We had a nice visit.
I don't need to be smothered when I visit a church, but I underestimated how disturbing it would be not to be acknowledged really or treated as worthy of a conversation or even a polite greeting. It was frustrating and I feel sad and angry about it. We are new, in need of connection. We have so much to give. But even if we didn't, we are human. We came for community. It was not offered to us.
This Sunday it snowed, so we didn't get a chance to find another place to visit.
I have signed up with unfriendly church to attend Interfaith Advocacy Day. I really don't want to go by myself. Maybe I'll find they warm up on subsequent visits or in small groups. Everybody deserves a second chance.
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